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first again. since many months ago.

I think that I am done with all the hopes
I convince my self that now,
this longtime longing has already gone
I remember every morning that I didn't dream of you at the night anymore
I am already able to pull my self together upon that uncertainty I brought by my own self
I know that the story will end up not as what I always said in my prayer before
I strengthen myself that I deserve so much more
and
I realize that there is no tear anymore in the wait for a meeting,
nor in the time when saying goodbye and seeing your back being apart slowly


And in the end of the day,
all the things I have said above,
are still all the things that I put on my best effort.
To be a reality. To be some of not-stumbled-steps.
In everyday. In every time.

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